Archive for the ‘trivia’ Category
July 24, 2009
Golf Balls …
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls”.
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked…
“Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”
Tags:blondes, Golf Balls, tennis elbow
Posted in Blonde Jokes, Golf jokes, jokes, Mind numbing, Tennis jokes, trash, trivia | Leave a Comment »
June 25, 2009
CANNON BALLS!!! DID YOU KNOW THIS?
It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the problem. The storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen.
Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem — how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others.
The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey. But if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make them of brass – hence,Brass Monkeys.
Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled.
Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.
Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. And all this time, folks thought that was just a vulgar expression?
You must send this fabulous bit of historical knowledge to at least a few intellectual friends.
Tags:Brass Monkey, Cannon balls
Posted in Brass Monkeys, Cannon balls, trivia | Leave a Comment »
June 17, 2009
Gotta love those Rednecks!
REDNECK YARD SWING
“““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““`
Redneck Cooler
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How do you know when you’re staying
in a Redneck motel?
When you call the front desk and say,
I gotta leak in my sink, and the
clerk replies, ‘Go ahead’.
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Redneck Cellar
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Redneck Garden
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum
drinking age for Rednecks to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol
out of the high schools.
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Redneck Limo
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Two reasons why it’s so hard to solve a Redneck murder:
1) The DNA is all the same
2) There are no dental records
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Redneck Mailbox
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Who invented the toothbrush ?
A Redneck.
(If it had been invented by anyone else,
it would have been called a teethbrush.)
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A State Trooper pulls over a pickup on Highway 16
and says to the driver, ‘Got any I.D. ?’.
and the driver replies ‘Bout wut?’
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Redneck Time Out
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Did you hear about the $3 million Redneck Lottery ?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
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Redneck Weenie Roast
~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new Redneck law was just recently passed .
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
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Redneck Wheelchair
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Did you hear that the Redneck governor’s mansion burned down ?
‘Yep. Prit’near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books went poof . . . up in flames and the governor hadn’t even finished coloring one of them.’ |
Tags:minimum drinking age for rednecks, redneck cellar, redneck cooler, redneck cousins, redneck divorce, redneck DNA, redneck garden, redneck I.D., Redneck jokes, redneck limo, redneck lottery, redneck mailbox, redneck motel, redneck murder, redneck time out, redneck toothbrush, redneck trailer park, redneck weenie roast, redneck wheelchair, redneck yard swing
Posted in Amusing pictures, dumb stuff, jokes, jokes about rednecks, Mind numbing, minimum drinking age for rednecks, redneck cellar, redneck cooler, redneck cousins, redneck divorce, redneck DNA, redneck garden, redneck I.D., Redneck jokes, redneck limo, redneck lottery, redneck mailbox, redneck motel, redneck murder, redneck time out, redneck toothbrush, redneck trailer park, redneck weenie roast, redneck wheelchair, redneck yard swing, time wasting, trash, trivia, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
May 26, 2009
Recently, a Beverly Hills attorney submitted a request to the California Department of Motor Vehicles for a Personalized License Plate. His request was rejected. The reason for the objection was that the letters requested were obscene. The attorney removed one space from the letters and resubmitted the request. This time it was approved. This is the approved version of the license plate.
Tags:Beverly Hills Attorney, California License Plate, obscene license plate
Posted in 20884201, 20884582, Amusing pictures, beverly hills attorney jokes, dumb stuff, immature jokes, jokes, jokes about attorneys, jokes about the California DMV, jokes about tofu, license plate jokes, Mind numbing, time wasting, trash, trivia, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
May 21, 2009
Breaking News – Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
And we all know who gave it to him…
Tags:Celebrity, swine flu
Posted in Amusing pictures, Celebrity jokes, childish humor, dumb stuff, jokes, jokes about swine flu, time wasting, trash, trivia | Leave a Comment »
May 11, 2009
Okay………here it is. A test to see if your brain is still working.
Which one do you think is the blonde?
Pass the test EITHER!!!!!
Tags:Blonde Joke, Intelligence Test, Test Your Brain
Posted in Blonde Jokes, dumb stuff, Intelligence Test, Mind numbing, Test Your Brain, time wasting, trash, trivia | Leave a Comment »
May 8, 2009
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and, with his odd diet,
he suffered from bad breath. This made him . . .
scroll down
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. A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Tags:bad breath, barefoot, calluses, diet, foot problems, halitosis, jokes, Mahatma Gandhi, mystic, podiatry
Posted in childish humor, dumb stuff, halitosis, immature jokes, jokes, Mind numbing, nonsence, podiatry, time wasting, trash, trivia, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
May 8, 2009
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: ‘Don’t Miss The Amazing Scotsman’. The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge hammer and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded sign for the same circus and the same sign ‘Don’t Miss The Amazing Scotsman’. He couldn’t believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket.
Again, the centre ring was illuminated.
This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his hammer. The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
“You’re incredible!” he told the Scotsman. “But I have to know something. You’re older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts”?
“Well laddie,” said the Scot, “Ma eyes arenae whit they used tae be.”
Tags:jokes about kilts, jokes about Scotsman, kilt, scotsman
Posted in dumb stuff, jokes, Jokes about Scotsmen, Mind numbing, time wasting, trash, trivia | Leave a Comment »
May 8, 2009
Tags:chalk drawings, dumb stuff, illusion, jokes, mind numbing trivia, time wasting
Posted in chalk drawings, dumb stuff, Illusions, jokes, Mind numbing, time wasting, trash, trivia | Leave a Comment »