WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and
a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He
opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,  “Say Father,
what causes arthritis?”

The priest replies, “My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with
cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.”

The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I’ll be  damned, ” Then returned to
his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long
have you had arthritis?”

The drunk answered, “I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here
that the Pope does.”

LEROY

Leroy and L’Quiesha go to the San Leon Primitive Baptist Church revival and listen to the preacher.

After a while the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front at the altar.

Leroy gets in line, and when it’s his turn, the preacher asks: “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?”

Leroy replies: “Preacher, I needs you to pray for my hearing.”

The preacher puts one finger in Leroy’s ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy’s head and prays and prays and prays. He prays a blue streak for Leroy. After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, “Leroy, how is your hearing now?”

Leroy says,”I don’t know, Reverend, it ain’t till next Wednesday.”